Love, Save the Empty
by SweetXSacrifice
Summary: CHAPTER 4 RE-DONE! Love broke me. Love left me without purpose. But now, love is my saving grace. Maybe it is possible to find true love again, and perhaps find it for the real this time. OOC B/E B/?
1. Chapter 1

**Plot**: Something tragic happens that shakes the Cullen Household. Nothing is certain anymore, not even what once was the strongest of loves.

Inspired by "Changes" A twilight story on this site by Jeanita. Very loosely inspired and hardly based on it, the idea for this story just popped in my mind when reading her story. But w/o her story, this would never see the light of day most likely.

**Setting**: Bella is a newborn vampire already. Charlie is gone, died from heart attack. First chapter is kind of fast paced, slows down after though.

**Love, Save the Empty**

I had started this wonderful new life as a vampire just under a month ago. I couldn't ask for anything else. If it was even possible, Edward and I have gotten closer. For the first time, we had the house to ourselves. Sitting back, we were watching some ridiculous movie.

"You know, I was thinking love, we should take a vacation. Just you and me. We haven't had any real quality time since your transformation."

"What a wonderful idea." I turned in his arms and kissed him. "I'm sorry I've been such a pain about doing anything. It's just, I know Emmett would blow it out of proportion."

"Oh, but don't you know that I could blow you out of proportion and I'm quite positive you won't mind." Edward laughed and the proceeded to pushing me back so he was on top of me. Not waiting for a response, he passionately attacks me with his mouth. With one hand, he pins my arms over my head and while he is still exploring my mouth, his free hand finds its way to my breasts.

My back arches as he squeezes my breast relentlessly. Breaking from the kiss, Edward stares into my eye lovingly. His hand takes a leave of absence and travels south. He pops open my buckle and without further warning I can feel his hand hitting my core.

Before I'm completely lost in the moment, I realize that anyone could walk in at any moment. And the living room isn't the best place for this.

"Ed- Edward. We can't do this here. As much as I'd _really_ like to finish, someone could walk in at any moment." I say with little conviction in my voice. But rolling gravel down the driveway gives me motivation to stop. Regretfully pulling away, I straighten out my clothes and hair.

"We're going on that vacation Bella. Tomorrow!" Edward said frustrated.

"Tomorrow." I offer a chaste kiss as a kind of promise. As we settle back in our respective places, what happens next is pure chaos.

The front and back porch door violently open and everyone pours back in. Esme, who went hunting with Carlisle earlier, was nowhere to be found. Carlisle looked visibly shaken, Jasper was consoling Alice who was in hysterics and Emmett and Rosalie were dumbfounded. Turning to Edward, he was now in some kind of semi catatonic state as well. I'm guessing he read everyone's mind.

"Well damn, who died?" I joked trying to lighten the tension in the room. Barely audible to even vampire ears, Carlisle answered in the most pathetically heartbroken manner.

"Esme."

**((AN: So…this was a test chapter. If I get enough reviews and interest then I'll update. So let me know what you think, even if they're flames…))**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

If I wasn't a vampire, I would have sworn I heard wrong. As it is, I was praying that it was some misunderstanding. Esme had become a mother to me and such a vital part of my life.

"I don't understand. Are you sure?" I whisper. Carlisle walked over to the living room and fell into a chair. His face was downcast.

"We were hunting and I noticed we had gone too far. We were on the edge of the treaty line and I had stopped her. She had this distant look in her eyes and she tore out of my grasp. Esme, Esme stepped onto La Push reservation and whispered that she was sorry but she just couldn't do this anymore. I was confused and before I could reach her, two werewolves came out of nowhere and attacked her. It was as if they expected her to be there." Carlisle finally broke down and started dry sobbing. I go over to hug and try and comfort him.

"I just don't understand. I thought she was happy. I would have done anything for her, she was my everything." By now everyone had huddled around Carlisle.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle. There was nothing you could have done, you gave Esme everything she could want that was a possibility. Esme had some inner demon that she hid from all of us. And…I'm going to shut up before I make you feel any more worse." I smile weakly.

"There were rare moments where I felt a deep sadness and depression from Esme but as soon as she noticed I felt it, she'd cover it up and say it was just one of those days. I believed her. I mean…I just thought it was normal for everyone to have down days. I'm sorry." Jasper whispered despairingly.

"I still can't believe it, everything already feels worse or emptier without her. Esme kept us anchored in a way I never realized before. It's just…." Edward broke off unable to finish. A sob escaped him and without further notice he took off upstairs. It was almost as if he was taking Esme's death harder than even Carlisle. Giving our attention back to Carlisle, he is overwhelmed.

"This is one tunnel that I just can't see to the end of. I think I just need some time alone." Carlisle moved to get up. Hugging him one more time I smile reassuringly at him.

"I know it seems impossible, but everything will be better. It may not be tomorrow or even next month, but we are all here for you Carlisle." Everyone nodded. Pushing my own feelings aside, I go upstairs to talk with Edward. I know it was hard losing my dad and if anyone, I could relate with Edward and help him the most.

**((AN: Next chapter will be more detailed and hopefully better. Review please? Well that's if you want me to continue…I won't update unless I get 10 reviews.)**


	3. Chapter 3

Okay…so I'm bending. I am updating before 10 reviews. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

**Chapter 3**

I'm surprised to find the door to our room is closed. Waiting for a few moments, I debate on whether I should knock or just go in. I mean, it was my room as well. And surely he knows I am here. It was weird but Edward and I have always had this deep connection where we could sense each other's presence. I couldn't explain it but I like it, made me feel like we were meant for each other. Deciding to knock, he comes to the door a few seconds after.

"Hey, mind some company?" I smiled taking small steps in. He turns to go back to the bed, shrugging indifferently.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come up. Come on in, it is your room too my Bella."

Sitting down next to him I wrap my arms around him. Neither of us say anything right away. I don't need Jasper's ability to tell that Edward is hurting. Gently kissing his forehead, I rest my head on his shoulder.

"When I lost Charlie, it was like someone threw a glass of cold water on me and a punch in the face all rolled into one. I never realized how important he was in my life until he was gone. The days that followed I was so lost. The only thing that pulled me through was knowing that I had you and remembering the time I did have with him. I swear I ate fish for a good month after his heart attack. But I'll be there for you Edward, always."

"I know and I'm so thankful for you. It would be so much harder without you. Bella I..Esme was in my life so long and I guess I just took for granted her presence. Honestly I'm not sure of how to go about this." Edward had pulled us back on the bed by this point.

"Edward, life isn't scripted. You just act how you feel." Silence engulfed us again and I chose to allow it too. He would speak what was on his mind when he was ready and pushing never did anyone any good.

We stayed in our room for an unknown amount of time. No one had disturbed us since and my throat was painfully burning. Edward still had failed to speak any new words, choosing to stare at the ceiling. I noticed that his eyes were a onyx black, mirroring mine assumingly. Untangling from his hold I stand up and look down at him.

"Come on, starving yourself is not going to do any good. You have to be in pain, you haven't hunted longer than I have and I'm about to go crazy from the fire." My smile drops as I see his face still void of any emotion.

"Fine, I guess I should hunt." Edward resigned, and launched himself out his window. He made it seem like he wanted to be alone, while it hurt me, I let him be for the moment. Jumping from the window, I start running in the opposite direction.

I finish quickly and head back to the house. Hopefully Edward will feel a little bit better. Pushing the patio door open, I run inside looking around. My spirits crash when I realize he isn't anywhere in sight. Walking up to Jasper, I watch Emmett playing some game along with him.

"Have either of you seen Edward? We went hunting at the same time."

"No he hasn't been back yet." Jasper replied. Everyone was obviously being cautious with what was said about everything. Carlisle had taken to doing double shifts at the hospital. Right now I think that was the only thing keeping him even remotely same.

"Jasper, those demons you were talking about before, what was that about?" I hoped he would tell me. I was curious as to what would drive Esme this far, and on some level I needed to know. Jasper was debating on if he should tell me or not, so I just patiently waited.

"It's something that has been eating away at her for so long. I know she loved us all as her own, but it wasn't enough. She never got over the loss of her baby boy."

"But that was decades ago. Why self destruct now?" I ask, completely confused. He winces at my phrasing.

"It was an accumulation of things really. Twenty years ago, Esme had a…lapse of judgement. She changed a human baby that someone had abandoned in the forest. Of course we had to destroy it, it was too dangerous to do anything else and she understood that. Only Carlisle and I knew of it, we thought it would be best that way."

I was surprised with what Jasper revealed. I can't believe she was hiding that all this time. She could have been a world class actress for sure. "Thanks for telling me Jasper, you didn't have to."

"No problem. But what's going on with you? I can sense emotions peaking out every now and then, and then nothing like some sort of wall." Jasper asked concerned. I figured I ought to tell him some of the truth considering what happened with Esme.

"I don't know, it's just that Edward is acting really strange and distant. I feel like he's going to slip through my fingers at any moment, but I also knows he loves me and people react differently to grief. But it's okay, that's all petty compared to what we all just lost." I smiled and made my way to go.

"It's not petty Bella. We did lose Esme, but as much as we may want to we just can't put our lives or our feelings on hold. I don't quite understand the way Edward's reacting to this, but he'll come around. Don't worry." Jasper assured me. I could only hope he was right. Lately it seemed that I was walking a tightrope with Edward and I wasn't as sure about the routine like usual.

"Thanks Jasper, I see why Alice keeps you around. If Edward asks, tell him I went to see Carlisle at the hospital." I requested. Jasper agreed, and I left to escape from going stir crazy.

**((AN: So….that's it. Tiny request? Can those of you who are reading and not reviewing just maybe review once in a while? Cause think about it, reading and not reviewing is kind of equivalent to….reading a whole magazine at the store and not buying it and um…that's stealing. So review, it won't hurt a bit, I promise.))**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter has been edited significantly. May want to reread it.**_

**Chapter 4**

My truck was acting up again, so I borrowed Edward's Volvo. Blasting the radio, I start out for the hospital. My thoughts go back to my love's standoffish behavior as of late. Parking, I slowly walk to Carlisle's office. Knocking, he opens quickly enough.

"Hey Carlisle. Thought you might want a lunch buddy." I smirk and walk into his office. Plopping down in one of his chairs I take an unnecessary sigh.

"I was just doing some research for one of my patients. How are you doing?" Carlisle took a seat next to me.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask you? Anyway, by the look of your eyes it seems someone needs to be your doctor."

"I rather be helping someone else than worry about my thirst, that can wait till I get home. I see you effective escaped telling me how you are. Something seems to be bothering you." Carlisle turned more to me.

"It's really trivial comparatively. Edward is just acting strange, like he doesn't want anything to do with me. And whenever he does do something with me, he acts like he'd rather not."

"Did you talk to him about it"

"No, I don't know how to bring it up. It would just be selfish I think to be concerned about my feelings when he just lost his mother."

"It's not selfish Bella. Esme would want us to be happy. I don't understand his behavior either. You've been good to him, something else must be bothering him besides grief. I'll talk to him for you if you want."

"No that's fine. It's my problem to take care of but thanks Carlisle. You're really too good to all of us." I stand up and he walks me to the door.

"I can't help it. Thanks for coming by Bella, you really lifted my spirits. I love you." Carlisle wrapped me in a hug.

"You know I'll do whatever I can for you. Love you too and I'll see you tonight."

Driving home I thought of all the different ways I could bring up Edward and I's problems. There was no clear cut way to go about it unfortunately. Too bad life wasn't like a movie, then I could just sit back knowing I would get my happy ending. Turning into our secluded home, I see Edward standing outside by himself.

"Hey Edward, what are you doing out here?" I ask, clutching his keys in my hand still. I walk up to him and go to kiss him. Grasping my head between his hand, he feverantly reciprocates. My senses are thoroughly knocked off guard at this complete 180. Landing back on the bottoms of my feet, I needlessly pant, pleasantly surprised. Edward's golden eyes smolder into mine and a crooked smile attaches itself to his perfect face.

"I was out here wondering why I couldn't find the love of my life. I have missed you more than one can miss breathing, figuratively." He licked his lips and anxiously dragged me into the house.

"My truck won't start for some reason. I didn't think that my sexy boyfriend would mind me going to see their dad." I tease and plop on his lap in the living room. His throaty, wanting voice stops me in my tracks.

"Oh, I thought you knew that I could get your truck revved up real fast."

My eyes widened and my body shivered slightly. Edward hardly ever talked like that. It's real strange that he seems to be back to his old behavior with me when only a few hours ago he was distant. Not that I wanted to complain about the current change of events but we still needed to talk.

"We need to talk about some things. Just to clear things up." I whisper, gasping unexpectedly when Edward's hand cups my right breast.

"Of course love, but why not just let our bodies do the talking for now." Edward took the liberty of sticking his finger in my open, shocked mouth. Taking it out slowly, he licked his finger. If it weren't for the fact that he can't read my mind, I'd think he was going for the ultimate distraction. Jumping up trying to focus on my thoughts, I head to our room.

"Alright, talk now, play later." Edward smirked and followed quickly. Behind closed doors, Edward crashed down on the bed, resting his hands behind his head. The way he looked I think I could just jump him right now. Blinking back those desires, I recommit to what I want to say.

"Edward. I don't know how to say this really, but it just seems that ever since Esme passed that we've been drifting apart. How do we fix this Edward? I swear I'd lose it if we separated. And I don't want us to be the end of me, I need you to survive." Taking a seat next to him, I hold his hand in my own.

Edward sits up abruptly and takes me into his arms. Rubbing my back he speaks softly and lovingly.

"I was thinking about, well virtually everything, when I was hunting. You are right. I've been horrible to you as of late and I hate myself for it. Without you, my sun doesn't rise. The world is a great deal darker, what once were vibrant colors would wither and be dull. Bella, please forgive me. Forgive my tragic behavior, you have to believe if I get lost sometimes that I will always find my way back to you. You are my lighthouse in a mass of stormy seas."

He spoke with such determination, with such passion. I think he would have started crying if that were possible. Tracing my finger along his jaw, I smile.

"I'll never stop fighting for us."

"Neither will I. The day I do, will be the day I die once and for all." Edward pulled me down and rolled on top of me. Crashing my mouth onto his, I intertwine our fingers together, fitting like a well crafted glove.

Edward and I consummated our relationship finally. It was much more than I ever imagined. Not to jinx anything already, but it had seemed that our shaky future had stabilized. We just cuddled together completely satisfied.

"I love you."

"Not as much as I love you." Edward answered. "I was thinking about that vacation we talked about. We could go away for a few days to somewhere sunny maybe?"

"Sunny? Okay I think you've officially lost it Edward. Are you forgetting why we stay out of the sun?" I joked with him. I had no idea where he was going with his idea, but it would be nice to be alone, just the two of us. Edward and I got up and went downstairs to do some hunting.

"You guys could go to Isle Esme if you'd like. It's not like I have any real use for it anyway." Carlisle spoke through the open door of his study.

"Oh that would be wonderful Carlisle! Thanks so much!" I clapped my hands excited.

"That's a perfect place, we'll leave tonight and stay for a week or so. How does that sound love?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Our week in Isle Esme transformed into three wondrous weeks. It all seemed to be like a fairy tale, fantastical and a dream. How is beyond me, but Edward had filled the place with roses and candles. There was even jet skis that I know didn't belong to Carlisle and Esme. At night, we'd go to Brazil and enjoy the abundant night life. It truly was the epitome of romance.

And it all ended too soon. We flew back on a dim Sunday night and landed back in Forks late Tuesday night.

"Edward, I wish we could have stayed forever! It was the best time of my life."

"Mine as well, and I was lucky enough to share it with the woman I love." Edward stared into my eyes intensely and purposefully.

Settled back into the quiet life of Forks, everything seemed so much duller than being on the island. Edward appeared to be in some kind of internal conflict almost constantly. We had grown closer since the incident, closer than I thought possible. I didn't know what was ailing him once more. Surely, if it was serious enough he would speak to me about it.

"We need to talk Bella." Edward catches my attention as soon as I come home from an impromptu shopping trip with Alice. Wordlessly, I enter the house and go upstairs to our room. I hear him follow and close the door. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself.

"Alright lover boy, what's up?" I smile, lightheartedly. I try to gauge Edward's reaction but fail. I notice his jaw clenches and his stare never meets mine. He walks past me, coming to a stop at the wall length windows and looks to the sky deep in thought.

"You know I was thinking. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, well a human eye. It really is amazing. It's true, you don't deserve the way I've been acting. I've colored my behavior with grief and sorrow at first. And then I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling wasn't right and I tried to throw myself and fully commit myself to our relationship. But that's not really the reality, not completely. It seems, the things I've once valued and held dear, don't quite live up to the same standards. They are not quite enough."

My eyes widen, not wanting to understand his riddles. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him, placing my head on his back. He's immobile as ever.

"I know everything is different. But we will always have each other, and as long as we do Edward. As long as I have you, and you have me we will be alright. What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. And what lies within me is an undying love that is all yours Edward."

Edward's hands reach for my hands that lie on his chest. He pulls them away and turns to face me. I smile at him hopeful that my words reached him. A tight, forced smile creases his face, and he pulls away completely free of my touch.

"Bella. I never, never meant to hurt you, you must know that. It's just as much of a surprise to me as it must be to you. I was hunting and realized that sometimes the person I really needed was the one I thought I didn't want. At least not in that way.

Her compassion, never ending caring and nurturing, and her beauty are only part of the reasons I thought of Esme as a wonderful mother. But the more I thought about how I regarded her, the more I realized that I loved her. I really loved her, more than only as a mother."

Shock flooding my senses. Shock, disbelief, hurt and finally anger was all that filled me at this moment. Whipping around to face him, I glare at him.

"What? You loved Esme as a lover?! You selfish, sick bastard! Well newsflash Edward, she's dead and I'm still here. It's been three, almost four months, get over it! And I'll be damned if I let you walk out of my life over a dead woman!" I yelled, furious and pushed him down. He didn't move from his landing on the ground, barely looking remorseful.

"I'm sorry Bella. It wouldn't be fair for either of us to keep up this charade…" I cut him off before he finished.

"CHARADE?!? This isn't a charade for me Edward. I loved you, I still do dammit! Edward, I…I don't understand. We've been closer than ever recently and all of a sudden you don't love me anymore?"

"I'm sorry, I'll help you look for a place whenever you want."

"No! I'll be damned if I'm leaving this house. You ruined my life Edward, you killed me! I gladly allowed it because we were supposed to have forever together. You need to leave Edward!" I walked out of the room and walked into the guest room, slamming the door and sliding down the opposite side of it.

**((AN: Um….review please? REVIEW!))**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I heard voices on the other side of the door but I wasn't able to move. I really had no idea what to do. My whole existence was planned and centered around Edward. I move to the bed and collapse again. I know he won't leave but I don't have anywhere else to go. This was going to be really awkward for a while.

**CPOV**

I decided to leave after Bella came by. Truthfully, I had done enough work for the rest of the week and all that remained was clinical work. Work had helped me keep my mind out of depression somewhat, but I knew that it would just push me further away from my family. Esme would want us to stay together and so did I.

When I did step through the door, I heard a heated argument upstairs. Looking around, I was expecting it to have been Emmett and Rosalie but they were both downstairs. Edward and Bella never argued. It was hard not to listen to every word that was being said. Bella sounded as if she was fighting for their relationship to stay strong. What was said next completely floored me and I winced noticeably after it was said.

"_What? You loved Esme as a lover?! You selfish, sick bastard! Well newsflash Edward, she's dead and I'm still here. And I'll be damned if I let you walk out of my life over a dead woman!" _

How could Edward feel that way? How dare he! I felt my hands ball up into fists as anger surged through me. Jasper came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It was one-sided Carlisle. Esme only loved you." Jasper assured me. I accepted the waves of calm being sent through me.

"Still, how could he do that to Bella?" I asked still dumbfounded.

"Because the boy's off his rocker. Has been since the beginning I'd say." Rosalie scoffed. A door slammed and we all ran up the steps. The guest room door was closed, and Edward was standing in the doorway to his room.

"Edward, what's wrong with you? You love Bella! I know it and you know it!" Alice stomped up to him accusingly. Edward was at a loss for words. He looked at each of us.

"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way, I'd change it if I could but I can't fool myself." He shrugged. Muffled sobs came from the guest room. Effectively distracting me from my disappointment in Edward, I stride over and knock upon the door.

**BPOV**

"Bella, can I come in please?" I heard Carlisle ask quietly. Thinking about his request, I decide that I had enough of a pity party for one.

"If you want." I sit up and run my hand across my face, almost willing myself to feel better. Carlisle walks in, closing the door behind him and sits next to me.

"So, I talked to him. Ended up ruining my life."

"Bella, I know it hurts but would you have rather lived a lie? Lived in a relationship that was one-sided? You wouldn't have been satisfied with that." Carlisle pulled me close in a hug.

"Yes. Yes I would have. I love him so much, even if he doesn't feel the same way I don't know how to be without him. He was my everything and I thought I was his. I wish he did die, as selfish as that sounds, at least I would of remembered him as loving me only." I wrapped both arms around Carlisle and broke down yet again. We stayed in this position for awhile.

"I know things look dark right now but happiness will find you again. I didn't believe that and I lost that hope when I lost Esme, but you helped give it back. And I also believe that every one of us gets at least one time to be selfish." Carlisle smiled at me. Pulling me up with him as he stands, and brings me towards the door.

"Woah woah, wait a second. I agree that I shouldn't mope but at the same time, I'm not too sure that I'm ready to see Edward yet."

"Sure you are, you don't want Edward to know that he has this much power over you. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. Just act like he's not even there."

"You're right, let's go." Opening the door to the guest room, the hallway was deserted. Everyone was downstairs, and with an unneeded sigh Carlisle and I descended.

"Well, I'll be in my study if anyone needs me." Carlisle informed before disappearing. I see Alice reading some fashion magazine along with Rosalie. Emmett is playing checkers with Jasper. I notice that Edward is over on his piano, his eyes flicker to mine and I quickly look away. Picking up the remote, I plop down next to Alice and turn on the tv.

Music comes from the piano and I immediately identify it as what was supposed to be my lullaby. I turned the tv volume up only for "All by Myself" to be playing in "Bridget Jones' Diary." That's it, someone officially hates me, they have to. Turning the channel, Edward has yet to cease his emotional turmoil. Jasper stops his game and looks at me, concerned.

"Edward, why are you playing that song?" I asked annoyed.

"You seem tense and your lullaby always seemed to calm you down before." Edward replied like it was the obvious thing in the world.

"Well, it really isn't my lullaby anymore is it? If it ever was anyway. So do us all a favor and cut out the noise."

"Alright, I won't play it if it bothers you Bella, but this is my piano and as long as it works then I'm going to play it." Edward said. I heard him getting up and grab his car keys.

'_As long as it works huh?'_ I thought already forming a plan.

"Great idea Bella!" Alice winked at me. I guess she already saw me going through with it.

**((AN: There's my update. Still on vaca! So….if I can write while I'm on vacation, well then..you can review right? Right. Please and thank you!))**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Thinking about what I was going to do with the piano, I walk over to the desk and pull out some scissors. I push open the piano lid and prepare to reciprocate the damage that Edward did on my dead heart. I bring the scissors close to the strings, but I can't bring myself to follow through. I know how much Edward loves this piano and honestly, I love seeing him play it.

Closing the piano top, I take a seat at the piano stool. Running my fingers over the keys, I start humming to myself and start playing. Forgetting the others still in the room, my humming escalates into soft singing.

_You're everything I thought you never were  
And nothing like I thought you could've been  
But still you live inside of me  
So tell me how is that?_

You're the only one I wish I could forget  
The only one I'd love to not forgive  
And though you break my heart, you're the only one  
And though there are times when I hate you  
Cause I can't erase  
The times that you hurt me  
And put tears on my face  
And even now while I hate you  
It pains me to say  
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I start to really get into the song, the words connecting to my feelings in every way imaginable. I couldn't even bring myself to hate Edward really, not as much as I still loved him. My heart was still his and if he asked me to go to the end of the Earth for him then I would surely do so in an instant. __

I don't wanna be without you babe  
I don't want a broken heart  
Don't wanna take a breath with out you babe  
I don't wanna play that part  
I know that I love you  
But let me just say  
I don't want to love you in no kind of way no no  
I don't want a broken heart  
And I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No  
No broken-hearted girl  
I'm no broken-hearted girl

I wanted to follow Carlisle's advice. I needed to act like he didn't exist, but it wasn't in my power to do so. Edward had me wrapped around his finger and I hated it but again, there is nothing I could do to stop this. I hear the front door open, and break out of my moment long enough for Edward and my gaze to meet.

It was hard for me to talk to him face to face, but I wanted him to know how I felt. I needed him to understand. Still looking at him, I continue on.__

Something that I feel I need to say  
But up to now I've always been afraid  
That you would never come around  
And still I want to put this out  
You say you've got the most respect for me  
But sometimes I feel you're not deserving me  
And still you're in my heart  
But you're the only one and yes  
There are times when I hate you  
But I don't complain  
Cause I've been afraid that you would've walk away  
Oh but now I don't hate you  
I'm happy to say  
That I will be there at the end of the day

Edward's face is inscrutable to the untrained eye, but I can see shock and thought clouding his eyes. Hopeful that I was reaching out to him I continued. __

I don't wanna be without you babe  
I don't want a broken heart  
Don't wanna take breath with out you babe  
I don't wanna play that part  
I know that I love you  
But let me just say  
I don't want to love you in no kind of way no no  
I don't want a broken heart  
And I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No  
No broken-hearted girl

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be…Oooo  
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me…yeah  
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free  
To spread my wings and fly away  
Away With you  
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don't wanna be without my baby  
I don't wanna a broken heart  
Don't want to take a breath with out my baby  
I don't wanna play that part  
I know that I love you  
But let me just say  
I don't want to love you in no kind of way..No..No  
I don't want a broken heart  
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..  
No broken-hearted girl  
Broken-hearted girl No…no…  
No broken-hearted girl  


I finished with a sigh and stood up, walking over to him. The surprise and curiosity on his face was replaced with what seemed to be exasperation. It was then that I knew I had my answer, I knew that there was no way Edward's feelings had changed. But I still needed him to hear me out. I still needed some amount of closure.

"Edward, about before, I'm sorry. It was juvenile for me to not want you to play your piano, I was just…upset and hurt." I smile hesitantly at him.

"It's fine Bella, we've both been under a lot of stress. It's understandable. Now if you'll excuse…" Edward was about to walk around me but I cut him off.

"Wait Edward, you had a chance to talk to me before, now it's my turn. You need to know that I love you and I still do no matter how much I fight against it. I know that's one sided. Edward, I don't think you realize how much you've burned me with this betrayal. These past three weeks have been a living hell for me, and it seems like they've been a walk in the park for you.

I'm beginning to think that maybe this was for the best ,that maybe I deserve someone better, maybe you weren't the one like I thought. And as cold and distant as you've been to me, it is somewhat comforting to me to know that while I will find my true love, you'll never be with yours." I finished completely satisfied, and walked past him escaping into Carlisle's study. I felt oddly exhilarated like I just closed a depressing chapter of my past and opened a promising future.

**((AN: that song thing was cheesy but I couldn't help it. "Broken-Hearted Girl" by Beyonce))**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Touching my head to the door, I close my eyes and sigh deeply. When I exhale, it's like I'm ridding my mind and body of all the pain and I can start anew. I could be in my own little world where nothing can touch me. I am untouchable and unstoppable.

"Is everything alright Bella?" Carlisle asks. I come back down from my high and it just dawned on me that I wasn't really alone. I laugh, awkwardly giddy with relief and closure.

"Everything is finally alright Carlisle. I'm finally freed of Edward's hold over me." I smiled and walked away from the door. Carlisle walked up and pulled me close to him. I could feel his nose buried into my hair. My arms gravitated around his neck and I inhaled his scent. I never realized how warm and deeply, yet strangely erotic his unique scent was.

"See, I told you that you would be able to let go. We deserve happiness Bella, we deserve to love again." Carlisle whispered in a throaty voice, his mouth lingering beside my ear and we were still holding onto one another. Carlisle's arms slid from my own to cup the side of my face and my neck. We separated minimally and looked at each other. It felt like we were both gazing at something we've been searching for and finally found.

Time stands still but moves in a blur at the same time. We lean close to one another and our lips meet and it all feels like some surreal fate. His hands tangle themselves in my hair and I pull him towards me in a desperate need to be closer to one another. As quickly as it had begun we broke apart, both wide eyed.

"Wha- what just happened?" I intelligently asked. The distance between us increased quickly. Carlisle took movements to decrease that distance.

"I don't know, but I'm not sorry that it happened Bella." Carlisle took me in his arms again.

"This can't happen Carlisle, it's just wrong on so many different levels." I pushed back out of his arms.

"Why is it wrong Bella? Tell me." Carlisle stared into my eyes, brows furrowed with intensity. Turning away, I walk over to his desk, idly twirling a pen thinking of where to start on why it was more than wrong.

"Carlisle, I barely got over Edward. And to move on to his father nonetheless, that would just be distasteful. And Esme, Esme hasn't been gone long, that was like losing my own mother. And…um.." Carlisle spun me around and lifted me onto his desk.

"Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me Bella. Distasteful? Don't you think what Edward did to you was the most outrageously distasteful? It's been three months since Esme's been gone. God knows I love and miss her and always will, but she wouldn't want either of us to be alone if we had a chance to be happy. I love you Bella. Everything about you I can't get enough of. After that kiss, you can't claim to feel nothing more than a platonic love." Carlisle prodded, running his hand down my neck and collarbone. Letting my true feelings wash over me, I grab his shirt and pull him closer to me, ravishing his lips once again. He easily picks me up and carries me to the large couch across the room. Laying me down gently, I stop him momentarily.

"All-wise Carlisle is right yet again. I do love you."

A cocky smile forms on his face and Carlisle quickly removes his shirt and starts on mine. His hands touching everywhere on my skin, I shiver at the contact. His lips go on a journey from my mouth to my neck and eventually to their final destination. Landing on my breasts, Carlisle starts sucking causing my back to arch. Moving my hands, I reach his pants and unbuckle them. He kicks them off and takes mine off as well.

"God you're beautiful Bella." Carlisle sits up for a moment in admiration. If I were human, I would surely blush.

"Yeah, thank the vampire in me." I chuckle somewhat semi-consciously. Carlisle is the first person to see me so exposed and so vulnerable. Carlisle turns my face towards him so he's looking directly at me.

"You were beautiful before Bella, and I honestly didn't think you could be any more so. Glad I was wrong."

He brought my neck up to his lips, kisses filled with need and passion fueling them. I feel his member tapping at my leg, completely aroused. Without further hesitation, Carlisle lifts my leg to his hip and whispers, "Are you ready, my Bella?"

Realization and embarrassment hit me like a ton of bricks. I was still a virgin. Edward had the reasonable yet frustrating excuse of not wanting to hurt me when I was still human. But all the time we were still together when I had gone through the transformation, he hadn't touched me or made the slightest intention of doing so. It confused me at first, but now it was painfully clear why.

"What's wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked, sensing my trepidation. How was I supposed to tell him? And would he even still want me, still want to be the one who took away my 'innocence'?

"I, um. I'm still…I haven't done _this_ before Carlisle." I whispered, not wanting to have to reveal the fact that Edward didn't even want me in any way.

"Bella. Look at me." Carlisle ordered and I complied. "There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it just makes this even more special. Never think that I don't want you Bella. It's no longer a question of want, but a matter of need." Carlisle reassured me.

"Okay, I'm ready."

It seemed to be over just as soon as it began. I can't believe that Edward held out for so long if it was like this. Letting my head fall back, I my panting slows. Carlisle moves to the side and spoons me, wrapping his arms around me and holding on to mine.

"That was amazing. It was…"

"Beautiful. I've never felt so complete." Carlisle nuzzled his nose into my hair. A smile filled my face and I closed my eyes content. Maybe there was an happy ever after, after Edward. We spent countless hours wrapped up in one other's embrace. I could of stayed this way for the rest of eternity. But my thirst had other desires. And from the looks of it, so did Carlisle's.

"We should go hunt, sweetheart." Carlisle sat up, still holding me. I nodded and we started getting dressed. Thinking about everything that had happened, my eyes widened in worry.

"Carlisle, what about the rest of the family? What are we going to do? I mean I guess they heard but, I don't know." I rambled.

"Don't worry so much Bella. They love us and they just want us to be happy. Though I can't speak for Edward, but I think it's high time he sees what he has lost." The way he spoke, I could tell he was proud of our relationship. Carlisle walked up to me and rested his head on mine.

"Okay, you've convinced me." Walking out of his study, we almost immediately run into Jasper and Alice. Alice's hair looks similar to that of a troll and Jasper's isn't far from hers either. Alice is smiling broadly and Jasper is looking really tense with a knowing gaze.

"Um…what's up guys?" I try to act casual. Too bad I've failed to mention Carlisle's arm wrapped possessively around my waste.

"I knew it! I didn't see it, but I knew it!!!" Alice squealed obviously pleased with this development.

"How? I mean the door was closed!" I rack my brain futilely. Jasper smiles like there is some secret joke.

"The study is sound proof, not emotion proof. I don't think I've ever felt that much lust even from Emmett and Rosalie."

"Well that's saying a lot!" Carlisle chuckled. I had to laugh through my embarrassment, as plausible as it was. A door slammed, and silence reigned over the room. The vampire stood before us angered and bewildered.

"How dare you touch her Carlisle!" Edward roared with such intensity. We were all too shocked at his enraged behavior to even anticipate his launch for Carlisle's throat.

**((AN: I've decided….there is only 2 or 3 more chapters left. Maybe just 1. Well, review! Please and thank you!))**

3 SweetXSacrifice


	8. Chapter 8

**So I was reading my story over from the beginning….and I'm not satisfied with it at all. It's been going too fast. So I'm going to do some remodeling. Knock down a few walls, beef up the foundation, paint in a different color…I'll just take this down when I update it with chapter 9 but you'll want to reread the story, probably. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 8**_

Edward had Carlisle by the throat. Growling and hissing, he was in such a blind rage. With his onyx eyes, we were all alarmed. No one had ever seen Edward behave in such a manner, especially towards his own father.

Carlisle was attempting to keep Edward at arms length but was barely succeeding.

"Edward! What are you doing?" I screamed. Emmett and Jasper ran to pull Edward off but Edward's hand was firmly attached to Carlisle's throat, bringing them both crashing into the opposing wall. Looking Edward in his eyes, I try to reason with him.

"Edward, calm down. Carlisle is doing anything he shouldn't or that I don't want him to. Now, you made your choice and so did I."

Finally fed up, Carlisle quits holding back and throws Edward off of him. Falling into what used to be the family table, Edward wastes no time getting back up. Now both Carlisle and Edward are snarling ferociously at each other.

I feel Jasper's empathy finally taking its effect on everyone in the room. Edward straightens out and takes a few breaths, trying to check his temper.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I just lost it seeing my girlfriend with you." Edward spoke possessively. Tilting my head, I can't believe what I heard him say.

"Excuse me, girlfriend?" I question. Walking closer I try to wrap my mind around what was going on actually. Edward gripped my shoulders gently and stared intently into my eyes. Turns out he still has the same effect on me after everything he put me through.

"If you'll take me back Bella. I was a fool to think I didn't need you, you're my essence Bella. Please forgive me, I know you love me just like I love you." His words were set afire with passion and what felt like honesty.

What was I supposed to say? Of course I love him, Edward was my first love. I put all of me in that relationship and it meant everything to me. This is what I dreamed of, Edward running back to me and telling me it was all one big misunderstanding. I dreamed of him holding me, of our perfect fairytale reunion. And this was supposed to be it, yet nothing felt right. It was like substitute sugar instead of pure cane.

But that was in the past, and Carlisle is my present and my future. Breaking his strong gaze, I turn to Carlisle. I can tell he is pained right now. Everyone is surely expecting me to melt into Edward's warm embrace and Carlisle has never looked so defeated. A sad sigh escapes his throat as he prepares to look at me one final time. Our eyes meet and I smile reassuringly at him before reaching for Edward's arms around me.

"I don't understand this Edward. You were so sure and dead set on not being with me. And the moment you find me with Carlisle, you want me back? Well, Carlisle wasn't some rebound for me. Far from it, and I'm glad now that you broke up with me. If you didn't I would never have found out how much I really loved him. I'm sorry Edward but you can't have everything and you can't have me." I stood next to Carlisle and felt his hand wrap around my waist. Edward just stood there looking completely crushed. Looking like a mirror image of myself when he left me.

"Son, we shouldn't fight. At the end of the day, we're all still family. A family that I'd like to believe still loves one another. I hope that in time you can accept Bella and I together." Leave it to Carlisle to try and mend fences. Especially with one who just tried to kill him practically.

"I don't know when I'll be able to accept it, but I owe everyone here to at least try. And I'm sorry for what I did to you Bella, for being so cruel." Edward's face was still downcast. The feelings I still had for him, though not the same love that I once harbored, rushed to the surface and I couldn't bare seeing him in such pain.

"Edward, I hate seeing you like this. I'd really like it if we could be friends one day." I was debating on whether I should hug him, but that would most likely give him the wrong idea.

"Yeah, I'd like that too Bella." A small, sad smile crept on his face. "I'm just going to be upstairs listening to music if anyone needs me."

The following days and weeks followed a routine. Edward's depression was felt by all but there was little that could be done about it. Eventually he learned how to cope with it and while I can't say he grew happy, he became content. We finally were able to be friends, and he was even going to be the best man at Carlisle and I's wedding. It looked like time did heal all wounds as best as possible.

**((AN: FINISHED! I know this was a horrible end. HORRIBLE! I'm just so uninspired to write it anymore. The story sounded better in my mind that when I actually started writing it. Review if you want, not that this chapter was review-worthy. :( Well….till next time, 3 SweetXSacrifice!))**


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